The Father’s Day Scam

Am I the only person in the world who realizes what a total sham the whole Father’s Day thing is? Isn’t it really just a giant scam to get dad to do even more work?

On Mother’s Day you give her presents, you buy her flowers, you take her out to dinner. You tell her how much she is appreciated and valued. You give her a day off from all the chores that she normally has to do all year long in appreciation for all the work she has done.

What do you give dad for Father’s Day? Tools. It’s as if you are saying, “You haven’t really ever done enough for me, but maybe if I make the work just a little easier THEN you’ll finally measure up.” So dad gets a new lawnmower, a new power saw, maybe a new screwdriver set.

What does mom do on Mother’s Day? She relaxes, and answers the telephone from well-wishers. She starts to do a few things only to have family members jump in to finish the task.

Oh yeah, and when everybody takes dad out for dinner, guess who generally pays the check?

What does dad do on Father’s Day? Well if my neighborhood is any indication, he goes out and mows the lawn in 80 degree heat. Then he comes back and uses that power saw to replace a few boards on the deck that have gotten soft. My regular Sunday private lesson canceled so he could finish painting the other half of his house. (The first half took him all day yesterday.)

And the screwdriver set? Well the lightbulb socket in the bathroom is loose, the refrigerator has a weird hum, and the car needs new plugs…

And when all that’s finished? Dad just looks down and says, “Wonder what else gets screwed?”

I could tell him, but it’s supposed to be his day…

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